No matter who you interfere with, remember these 3 things.

What would you do if your biggest fear was happening right now? Have you ever felt anxious while trying to read someone’s expression during a conversation? Or maybe you've been so wrapped up in a relationship that you worried you might lose yourself? A lot of our biggest fears come from our relationships. People constantly judge us based on our actions, words, and facial expressions. When we live in that kind of environment, we often end up valuing what others think of us more than our self-worth, and little by little, we start to lose ourselves. But surprisingly, even in these complicated relationships, some people are welcomed everywhere and even win over their enemies. They don’t have any special skills, stunning looks, or impressive backgrounds. Instead, they connect with others through straightforward actions. Today, I want to share their secret: it’s all about three things—playing dumb, pretending you’re broke, and acting like you didn’t see anything.

 

 

 

Let's explore how these three forms of pretense can be powerful in our relationships and how we can put them into practice. Some might say, "Pretending? Are you telling me to lie? Acting like I don’t have money? Isn’t that uncomfortable? Ignoring problems? Is that just avoiding negativity?" But these three ways of pretending aren’t just about lying or deceiving ourselves. They’re practical wisdom that helps us respect others, protect ourselves, and smooth out our relationships.

 

His moment made him reflect on how his attitude affects others. During a conversation with a junior colleague, he noticed the junior hesitating multiple times before speaking up. Finally, the junior said, "I’m kind of scared that if I say something, you’ll just criticize me." At that moment, he realized that his straightforward attitude pressured others. He decided to change himself. The first thing he practiced was pretending not to notice when a colleague made a mistake. Instead of pointing it out immediately, he would quietly wait for them to figure it out independently. As a result, his colleagues gradually started to open up to him. He learned a more balanced way to interact in relationships. We often think honesty is essential, but being too honest can sometimes hurt relationships. In those cases, pretending not to notice isn’t just indifference; it can show consideration. Ignoring a mistake can be a way to support someone and help them grow.

 

 

What happens when you pretend to be broke in your relationships? And why could this be an essential lesson? Let’s dive into that a bit deeper. At first glance, pretending to be poor might feel like a hit to your pride or seem like a move that makes you look pathetic, right? But really, it’s not just about lowering yourself or faking it. Pretending to be broke can show authenticity in your relationships and help reduce unnecessary conflicts. Here’s a story about a young woman. When she graduated from college and stepped into the real world for the first time, her biggest worry was her friendships. Friends she had grown up with, sharing everything, suddenly started competing to show who was doing better. If one friend posted a photo of a meal at a fancy restaurant, another would post a picture of a designer bag from her vacation. Someone would brag about their new car, while another would show off a bonus from work.

 

 

She casually brought up the bonus at a work dinner. At first, she went along with it and bought expensive clothes, living without worrying about money. But over time, that lifestyle started to wear her down. She felt like she was losing herself in all the excessive spending and constantly comparing herself to others. One day, she got invited to a friend's birthday party. While everyone else was bringing fancy brand gifts, she intentionally brought a simple bouquet. It might have looked shabby among the other gifts, but she decided to stop pretending at that moment. After the party, her friend quietly told her, "Honestly, I appreciated you coming in such a down-to-earth way. I find these kinds of gatherings tough, too." From that day on, she started pretending to be broke around her friends. When someone suggested an expensive meal, she’d say, "I need to save some money lately; let’s go somewhere casual." And when she went to gatherings, she stopped bothering to dress up.

 

 

At first, her change seemed a bit strange, but it gradually sparked similar reactions among her friends. Ultimately, her act of pretending to be broke went beyond just saving money; it helped eliminate an invisible competition among people and made friends treat each other more honestly. This attitude doesn't just work in everyday relationships but also has a powerful impact on a larger scale. When we pretend to have a connection with someone, they often judge us based on our outward appearance. On the flip side, pretending to be broke opens a path for people to see our true selves. When we lower ourselves and approach others with humility, it opens their hearts, too. Do you remember how most of the moments that made us happiest as kids were unrelated to money? The times we played with friends at the playground, shared little snacks from the convenience store or had fun for hours with just paper and pens. Pretending to be broke can be a tool to bring our relationships back to that essential, unadorned state.

 

 

It helps to reduce unnecessary competition and pressure in relationships, fostering honesty among people and creating an environment where everyone can interact with a light heart. So, what wisdom is wrapped up in "playing dumb"? Let's piece together the final puzzle of these three aspects through this story. Playing dumb isn’t just pretending not to know something. Instead, it’s a valuable skill that helps prevent significant relationship conflicts, understand others' feelings, and build deeper trust. A man ran a small company and worked in a family-like atmosphere with a few employees. One day, he discovered that one of his employees had embezzled a small amount of money from the company. The evidence was clear, and when he confirmed it, he felt a wave of betrayal and anger. He was ready to call the employees in, point out the mistake, and fire them. But after a moment, he breathed and started to think things over. That employee...

 

 

He always worked hard and put in effort for the company's success. That afternoon, the man called the employee to a quiet place to talk privately. Facing the employee, he calmly asked, "Have you been struggling lately?" The employee was taken aback by the unexpected question and looked shocked. At that moment, they broke down in tears and shared their situation. They urgently needed money for their child's hospital bills but had no one to help, so they had to dip into company funds. After hearing this, the man paused momentarily and said, "Let’s pretend this never happened. But from now on, if you’re in a tough spot, come to me first. We’re all on the same team, and you don’t have to go through this alone." The employee expressed their gratitude through tears and returned to work, more dedicated than ever to contributing to the company's growth. Ignoring issues doesn’t mean condoning mistakes or looking the other way; it’s about not exposing someone’s errors or decisions right away.

 

 

Instead of just criticizing, it's essential to understand the reasons and context behind things and respond with more profound empathy and consideration. Philosopher Zhuangzi said that in relationships, the most important thing is to guide someone toward a better path rather than just pointing out their flaws. We often quickly point out others' mistakes and think it's justified. However, those who can overlook a flaw a bit tend to build more trust and long-lasting relationships. Ignoring things isn't easy; our pride or sense of justice often makes us feel a strong urge to correct others. But in those moments, pause and try to see the situation from their perspective. Are they already suffering from their mistake? If we give them a little time, might they not realize the issue themselves and move in a better direction? The key to overlooking is giving the other person some breathing room. In that space, people can grow and reflect on their mistakes.

 

 

 

You’ll find a better version of yourself again. This time, let’s dive into how these three “pretend” attitudes—acting like you don't know, pretending to be broke, and feigning ignorance—can enrich our relationships. If we practice all three, imagine the strength we can gain in our connections! These aren’t just ways to fool someone or put yourself down; they're powerful tools for building deeper trust, reducing unnecessary conflicts, and creating genuine bonds. So, this woman was just an ordinary resident of a small town. She came across some handmade jewelry, and an elderly person nearby chimed in, saying, "This is my life's work! It’s gonna cost a pretty penny, so don’t say it’s too expensive." The woman noticed the jewelry was clumsily made, but she smiled and replied, "This is special! You won’t find something like this anywhere else." The elder was thrilled and started sharing more about the piece.

 

 

She started to open up about her passion but played it cool. Even though it wasn't perfect, she appreciated the elder's efforts and sincerity, respecting their feelings. That small gesture made the elder feel more incredible pride, and they proudly shared her praises with others. Then there was that time when her friend asked to borrow a large sum of money. She could have lent it, but she said, "I'm going through a bit of a tough time too, so lending that much isn't possible for me right now. But I’m here to help in any other way you need." This didn’t hurt her friend; her friend felt her genuine desire to help, and their bond grew more assertive. Pretending to be short on cash can sometimes protect you while building your independence, so you’re not relying on others. This act is a wise way to keep ourselves healthy without disappointing anyone. People who can practice this kind of balance are indeed something special.

 

 

You could say I’m an expert in relationships. Pretending not to know something makes the other person feel comfortable, acting like you don’t have money protects us, and looking the other way helps prevent conflicts and builds trust. There’s an old saying in Chinese classics that the best thing is like water—it means that the best way is to go with the flow. Water flows to low places, embraces everything, and finds its path. These three acts—pretending not to know, acting like you’re broke, and looking the other way—have a smooth and natural power that helps relationships flow like water. Now, let’s dive deeper into how we can actively use these ideas in modern society. So, how do these three acts—pretending not to know, acting like you don’t have money, and looking the other way—play a more crucial role in today’s world? Modern society demands more complex and careful handling of relationships. There are many unspoken expectations and pressures around us, and sometimes, we defensively react or overreact without even realizing it. For example, think about a situation at work where a new employee...

 

 

 

What should we do when we accidentally misreport essential information, especially if the mistake is obvious and everyone else knows about it? It might seem efficient to point it out immediately and correct the problem, but that could intimidate or stress out a new employee. In cases like that, how do you think the new employee would feel if a senior or colleague quietly fixes things without making a big deal? Ignoring mistakes helps save face and creates a warmer working environment. This isn’t about being indifferent; it’s a thoughtful approach that shows great wisdom in dealing with people. Next, pretending not to have money is another important strategy, especially in our modern society, where financial pressures are a reality. When dining out with friends or planning a trip, those with more money often cover all the costs or spend more than they should. If you keep saying “I’m fine” to accommodate everyone, you might not even realize your financial situation is worsening. There was a woman who…

 

 

 

I used to eat out at restaurants often, and once, my friend told me, "You always take good care of us, so we end up relying on you." At first, it sounded like a compliment, but it suddenly hit her that she carried most of the financial burden. After that, she told her friends, "I'm trying to save money too, so let's keep it simple this time." As a result, her friends began planning gatherings that fit their budget better, which eased her financial stress. Pretending to be broke isn't just about protecting yourself; it can also help people set more realistic expectations and make relationships healthier. Lastly, let’s think again about the power of playing dumb. In social networks, there's often an impulse to react and interpret someone’s actions or words immediately. For instance, if a post in an online community goes against my values or beliefs, jumping in to argue right away can damage that relationship.

 

 

 

What if we just play dumb instead? Ignoring certain things can avoid unnecessary conflicts and handle situations more wisely. Instead of fueling arguments, sometimes it’s better to let the other person’s opinion be. This shows a lot more grace and wisdom. Khalil Gibran said it well: true wisdom is about not listening to things you don’t need to hear. Playing dumb can actually be a sign of real wisdom. Now, let’s dive deeper into how these three ways of acting—playing dumb, pretending to be broke, and looking the other way—affect our mental health and life satisfaction. A lot of people feel drained in their relationships. Sometimes, they try hard to meet others' expectations, and at other times, they feel the weight of sacrificing themselves to achieve something. But in this process, they often neglect their feelings. In psychology, the stress from relationships with others can affect our mental well-being.

 

 

 

We explain it through resource depletion. Showing consideration for others, empathizing, or resolving conflicts takes a lot of energy. However, using these three tools wisely can reduce that depletion and give us more mental space. For instance, pretending not to notice helps us avoid getting swayed by unnecessary information and distractions. For example, when a friend says something awkward in a group chat or a coworker criticizes me, I can just let it slide instead of jumping in to react or explain myself. This attitude protects my mind from pointless conflicts and allows me to focus on what matters. Acting like I’m broke also helps lighten the psychological load. People often lean on or have high expectations of those who seem financially stable. But trying to meet all those expectations can lead to even greater emotional and financial stress for yourself. So, being honest about my limits while pretending to be broke can help me deal with others.

 

 

 

It helps us build healthier and more realistic expectations in our relationships. This way, we can cut down on unnecessary sacrifices and take better care of ourselves. Ignoring certain things is one of the best ways to protect our mental health. If we let go of the urge to point out others' mistakes or fix everything, our lives will be much smoother. Some people think they must call out others for their mistakes because they're honest. But that kind of honesty can sometimes hurt the other person deeply. For instance, there was a couple where the wife believed her husband never washed the dishes properly. So, she would point it out whenever he finished and tell him how to do it right. Over time, he started to avoid doing the dishes altogether, leading to unnecessary conflict between them. Their relationship could have remained much warmer if they had just let the little mistakes slide.

 

 

 

Sometimes, we live under pressure to control everything and make things perfect. But pretending we don’t know, acting like we’re broke, and looking the other way teaches us to be flexible instead of perfect. These attitudes aren’t just about avoiding problems; they’re smart choices that can lead to healthier relationships and protect our mental well-being. Psychologist Carl Rogers once said that only when we are completely honest with ourselves can we be honest with others. Like he said, these three attitudes help us stay true to ourselves and navigate our relationships more wisely. Let’s look at how these three approaches can positively change our lives. Lastly, we'll wrap up by exploring specific examples of how pretending not to know, acting like we have no money, and looking the other way can positively impact our lives. First, by pretending not to see, we can free ourselves from heavy emotions. For instance, a friend of mine often complains about their job.

 

 

 

When you listen, you might feel angry or pressured to do something about it. But acknowledging it with a simple "Wow, that sounds tough" can help ease the other person's feelings and lighten your heart. Letting go of the need to understand and fix everything can free you from the pressure of expectations. For example, if a friend suggests going out for an expensive meal over the weekend, forcing yourself to spend when it doesn’t fit your budget can lead to emotional stress. If you’re trying to save money, being honest and saying something like, "How about we just grab something simple instead?" can actually strengthen your friendship. If that friend values you, they'll understand your situation and help you make a comfortable choice, making your relationship healthier. This kind of ignoring is especially effective with close relationships, like family or good friends. For instance, when parents nag or point out little issues, instead of arguing back every time...

 

 

 

Instead of getting into arguments, conflicts can be quickly resolved. When we don't take every word too seriously and accept the situation, it helps ease the tension and gives each other some breathing room. The three tips are not just about avoiding confrontation; they help us make more intelligent relationship choices. This mindset allows us to break free from others' expectations, criticism, or perfectionism and live more freely. Let’s think about a saying: "Not correcting a mistake after realizing it is the true mistake." We often make mistakes or hurt others as we go through life. But pretending not to notice or acting like nothing happened can lighten the burden of our mistakes and help us truly mend our relationships. What thoughts came to your mind while listening to this broadcast? Have you ever tried adopting this attitude? Or is there a situation where you’d like to put it into practice in the future?

 

 

 

"I'd appreciate your sharing your thoughts in the comments. If today’s broadcast gave you even a little comfort or help, don't forget to subscribe and hit like! I hope your day is filled with peace and warmth. Thank you, this was the Square of Enlightenment."

 

 

What would you do if your deepest fear were unfolding right before your eyes? Have you ever felt a wave of anxiety wash over you while attempting to decode someone’s emotions during a conversation? Or perhaps you've been so deeply enmeshed in a relationship that you began to fear losing your identity? Many of our greatest fears often originate from our relationships with others. In our daily interactions, we are inundated with judgments based on our actions, our words, and even the most subtle cues of our facial expressions. Living in such a scrutinizing environment often leads us to place an inordinate amount of value on others’ opinions, gradually eroding our sense of self-worth. Over time, we may lose touch with who we indeed are.

 

 

Interestingly, amidst these complex relationships exist individuals who effortlessly endear themselves to others, even winning over their adversaries. These individuals do not possess extraordinary talents, stunning physical attributes, or impressive backgrounds. Instead, they connect genuinely with others through simple yet profound actions. Today, I want to unveil their secret, which rests on three fundamental principles: adopting a playful simplicity, embracing a persona of financial humility, and practicing selective ignorance.

 

 

Let’s delve into how these three forms of pretense can be incredibly impactful in our relationships and how we might integrate them into our lives. Some may balk at pretense, questioning whether this implies dishonesty or a lack of authenticity. “Are you encouraging me to pretend? Should I act as if I lack financial resources? Isn’t that uncomfortable? Should I disregard issues rather than confront them?” However, these three pretense strategies are not merely tactics of deceit. They are practical wisdom designed to foster respect for others, safeguard our emotional well-being, and facilitate smoother interpersonal interactions.

 

Consider the story of a man known for his relentless work ethic. Colleagues trusted him immensely, convinced he could tackle any challenging task. Yet, he struggled to form meaningful connections primarily due to his brutally honest demeanour. Whenever a coworker faltered, he would promptly highlight their mistake, and he was unabashedly unyielding during meeting disagreements. Consequently, while he earned respect, he became increasingly isolated, garnering admiration but lacking genuine companionship.

 

One day, a pivotal moment prompted him to examine the repercussions of his attitude. During a conversation with a junior colleague, he observed the young man hesitating multiple times before voicing his thoughts. Eventually, the junior confessed, “I feel apprehensive about speaking up because I fear you’ll just criticize me.” This moment struck a chord within him; he recognized that his unfiltered honesty exerted undue pressure on those around him. Resolute in his need for change, he began by adopting a practice of selective ignorance—refraining from pointing out every mistake a colleague made. Rather than immediately highlighting errors, he chose to allow his coworkers the space to discover their solutions patiently. Gradually, this approach opened pathways for deeper connections and trust. He realized that while honesty is often heralded as the highest virtue, there are moments when withholding judgment can nurture relationships. In essence, overlooking a minor mistake can signify support and kindness, facilitating personal growth for others.

 

Now, let’s explore the implications of pretending to be financially less affluent within our social dynamics and why this can offer valuable lessons. At first glance, feigning financial humility might seem contrary to one’s self-respect or appear as a desperate act. However, it’s not about devaluing oneself or engaging in a façade. Instead, this approach can foster authenticity in relationships and mitigate unnecessary conflict.

 

Take, for instance, the story of a young woman who, upon graduating from college, faced the overwhelming challenge of navigating friendships in a materialistic world. Friends she had grown up with, once who shared everything and celebrated each other’s achievements, suddenly fell into a competitive spiral, vying to outdo one another in displays of success. If one friend posted a picture of an extravagant meal at a trendy restaurant, another would counter with an image of a luxurious designer item acquired on vacation. Someone would boast about a spectacular new car while another highlighted a significant bonus received at work.

 

Initially, she tried to fit in, excessively splurging on designer clothes and embracing a lifestyle without financial constraints. Yet, as time passed, the relentless pursuit of status began to take a toll; she felt herself slipping away from her true identity, caught in a whirlwind of materialism and relentless comparison. She attended a friend’s birthday celebration during one such gathering, where everyone presented lavish gifts. In a moment of clarity, she consciously brought a simple bouquet instead. Though her offering appeared modest amidst the surrounding extravagance, it symbolized her determination to be authentic.

 

Following the party, her friend privately expressed gratitude, saying, “I truly appreciated your down-to-earth gesture. I find these gatherings quite overwhelming, too.” Inspired by this positive response, she resolved to adopt a mindset of financial humility in her social circle. Whenever discussions arose about expensive outings, she would assert, “I’m trying to save money lately; how about we opt for something more casual?” Additionally, she shifted her approach to gatherings, choosing comfort over ostentation in her attire.

 

At first, her changes seemed peculiar to her friends, but gradually, they ignited a ripple effect. Ultimately, her simple act of pretending to be broke transcended mere financial posturing; it cultivated deeper connections rooted in authenticity and mutual understanding. Through these three forms of pretense—playing dumb, pretending to be broke, and selectively ignoring certain realities—we can navigate the complexities of relationships with greater empathy, fostering an environment where both personal growth and emotional connection can thrive.