How do you create good habits and attach them to you?

 

Check out that dish towel you’ve been using without thinking. If it’s stained, toss it out. What do stains on a towel have to do with your mindset? Today, I want to chat about self-control or keeping yourself in check. With the summer heat cranking up, it’s not just the sweat getting to me; I get annoyed over the most minor things. Honestly, what you need in times like these is self-control. Without it, daily life can spiral out of control, and so can your whole life. I’ve noticed that people who can exercise self-control exude a certain elegance, even if they’re not dressed up or flashy. It’s all about the basics of life—food, clothing, and shelter are all connected. And the first step? It’s definitely about food. Today, I want to bring insights from a beloved author, Dominique Loreau. Let's set up a Zoom interview with her sometime! I’ll share my thoughts on her book "Living Simply 2" as well.

 

 

I want to share something. The author says that when choosing what to put in our heads, hearts, and guts, most people's suffering starts from losing their standards. But a lot of people don’t even realize this. All suffering comes from not picking what to put in those three areas based on our standards but filling them up with whatever our instincts say. And when our standards crumble, it starts from the gut and then cascades up to the head and heart, like a domino effect. So here’s the key point: I need to start from the gut and then move up to the head and heart to get my standards and rules back in order. That’s how I can learn to control myself. Think about it—controlling yourself means having some standards in place. It’s about having those rules firmly inside you and ensuring you stick to them so you can manage your daily life. That’s self-control.

 

 

If there aren’t any standards or rules, you can pick anything and do whatever, right? So, even if you want to practice self-control, you can’t do it. If there’s no law, how can you follow the law? Anyway, coming back to it, the author says to forget about diets, which is a pretty unique perspective. Resisting food isn’t just about changing your body; in a way, it’s the first step for someone who wants to revive their worn-out mind. The author puts it like this: your body and mind are the one-of-a-kind things you own and need to manage. It sounds pretty cliché when you hear it, right? But in everyday life, you rarely get asked questions like, "Are you living as the master of your body and mind?" It’s interesting because not many people can confidently say yes to that. They’re just not in control of themselves.

 

 

The author emphasizes that when you feel like your life is completely off track or heading in a different direction than you want, the first thing you should do is focus on controlling how much you eat. So, the first step in self-control is to avoid eating when you're not hungry. People often snack or overeat when they're feeling empty, or their minds are all over the place, even if they're not hungry. This shows that eating is more than just a physical need; the body has lost its original sense of what it needs. We end up chasing that feeling we get from eating. But if you keep doing this, you’ll overeat, and then you’ll feel uncomfortable overeating. That discomfort doesn’t make the emptiness or confusion go away. So, soon enough, you find yourself eating again even when you're not hungry. It becomes this endless cycle. And this is just my personal experience.

 

The observation shows that this vicious cycle usually starts when you eat late-night snacks. A lot of you might be feeling a bit guilty while watching this. Now, if you find yourself in this kind of vicious cycle or even if it’s not that bad but you notice similar patterns repeating, let’s listen to a solution suggested by a doctor living in India. It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to send signals to your body that you’re full after chewing and swallowing. So, you need to fill that 20 minutes and pay attention to all the sensations your body experiences while digesting food. For someone who's feeling down, solid food is good. Chewing on solid food bit by bit can help bring a sense of calm to your mind and change your body and spirit. The author even suggests starting with small bites of food that don’t require you to wipe your mouth with a napkin, emphasizing a bit of self-control. To make this happen, even something as simple as serving a biscuit on a plate can be a good start.

 

You’ve got to put some effort into how you present your food. The reason is that when you nicely arrange your meal on a plate, you treat yourself respectfully. It’s a feeling that’s important. I hadn’t thought about this before, but the author points out that adequately serving even a single dish is the first step to respecting yourself in all aspects of life. And here’s the funny part: the method I just mentioned is super easy—something you can do immediately. But the author says that when they suggest this to people, ironically, because it’s so simple, most folks don’t even bother to do it. The author emphasizes that instead of grabbing the first thing you eat for the day without care, serving it nicely can completely change how you start your day. It’s similar to how making your bed after getting up can set a positive tone for the rest of your day. Just putting a little thought into how you serve your food can make a big difference.

 

 

When you start serving your food on smaller plates, you avoid overeating. This way, you can also end the guilt of cleaning your plate—the time you spend eating transforms from being self-destructive to being about taking care of yourself. The author points out that the body and mind influence each other. Self-control often gets seen as trendy, but that's a misconception. You won't lose confidence when you learn to manage your eating without being swayed by outside influences. In other words, you become more self-reliant. Practicing self-control means that your decisions come from within, not external pressures. Just be cautious of extreme control, as it can lead to burnout. People often think of self-control in an all-or-nothing way, but the goal should be to restore balance between body and mind gradually. When the wind blows, you must be flexible, like bamboo, to avoid falling. Following someone else's rules can be good, but...

 

 

Living life by creating your own rules is way better. If you want your life to improve, you must trust and stick to your boundaries. Stop just making decisions and start with the mindset that you can continually improve. You can start a new life by constantly improving your daily routine. That belief in your ability to change will fuel you. You need a little push to want to get back on track and feel healthy again, and then change will happen like magic. So, where does that push come from? First, clear out your fridge. This is where Dominique Loreau’s unique approach shines. She always finds solutions for significant goals like mental and subconscious transformation in the simplest, everyday things. Especially during a season change like now, she suggests emptying your fridge and keeping only the essentials in your kitchen because where you eat symbolizes your and your family’s mindset.

 

 

You’ve got to keep your eating space super clean; that’s a must. Let’s listen to what this girl has to say. As we modernize, fridges are getting bigger and bigger. But why must we stockpile so much food that could feed three generations? If you buy fresh ingredients every three days, a small fridge would be more than enough. You've got tons of food piled up in your pantry, and there are all sorts of random stuff in the fridge that nobody even knows why it’s there. Next time you buy a refrigerator, try picking one that isn’t too big. A giant fridge can waste a lot of energy unless you fill it up correctly, and once you start forgetting what’s inside, it just adds to the mental load every time you open it. Try clearing out your fridge right now, leaving just enough for three days. You’ll feel a lot clearer in your mind. Also, take a look at that dishcloth you use without thinking. If it’s stained, toss it out. You might wonder what a stained dishcloth has to do with anything, but it matters!

 

 

If you start to ignore the stains on your dishcloth, you’ll leave that messy bowl of soup and other dirty stuff lying around way too often, turning your kitchen into a disaster. So, after dinner, try leaving a worn-out white cotton dishcloth on the counter. It’ll change how you wrap up your day. The state of that dishcloth reflects what’s going on in your head. Cleaning up those stains and organizing the kitchen can help you process feelings of emptiness and tackle depression in surprisingly practical ways. Making your life more beautiful, rich, and vibrant is pretty simple. A tidy kitchen balances your mental state. So, let’s keep the dishes we use. Even if you’re hosting a gathering, you don’t need a mountain of cooking tools. As everyone knows, we have to adapt to the ever-changing situations in life.

 

 

If something is weighing you down and keeping you from changing, it's time to let it go. You must free yourself from all the burdens that drain your energy and waste your life. Simplicity is always beautiful. Living elegantly means not complicating your heart, mind, or surroundings, allowing you to focus on more productive things. Everyone is interested in living elegantly. When someone describes their partner as elegant, it often reflects a desire for a different life that feels luxurious, high-class, and comfortable. So, we all crave a more graceful life. But what does it mean to live elegantly? It means finding your center, staying calm, prioritizing, and not overwhelming yourself with too many choices. It's about living deeply rather than spreading yourself too thin. That’s what elegance is all about.

Life is all about finding peace. Whether your body changes or your mind does, everything chaotic needs to transform into calm for you to enrich your life. When the author talks about enhancing your life, what does that mean? One of the best ways to do this is through reading. But just like the author says, if you don't clear out all that noise inside you, you won't be able to focus on the book. Concentrating on reading is impossible when you feel stuffed and out of sorts or your home is messy. So, to instill rules in your life, you must start by practicing some restraint and clearing out the clutter first. The author also mentions that for a mature life, it’s not just about physical stuff; you also need to nourish your senses and mind. Your heart needs something to thrive on, too. This is the way to break free from a dull and numb state, regain your energy, and reach a higher level of awareness. Reading can really help transform your life.

 

Let's talk about this rule for a minute. Trying to find myself through reading books is probably one of the hardest things in the world. An author and futurist, Nicholas Carr, says that reading means practicing an unnatural way of thinking that requires sustained, uninterrupted focus on a static object. So, when you dive into reading, it brings about some fantastic changes. Quietly reading is a strong sign of self-awareness, showing I take responsibility for my knowledge. That's why this quiet, solitary self-study is essential for success. We have to take responsibility for who we are, right? And when it comes to taking responsibility, reading might be one of the most advanced and challenging things to do. We often try to find joy in things we experience firsthand, like the daily commute, the clothes we wear, or the first thing we see on our phones in the morning. How does the author view people like this?

 

Should we think about it? Some people live buried in everyday moments of potential happiness, while others find joy through reading. To borrow a phrase from Nicholas Carr, readers experience mental stimulation whenever encountering a new situation or sentence in a book. When people read correctly, they dive deeper into their thoughts and stop paying attention to all the distractions around them. It’s like dreaming—my senses and thoughts become focused. Then, during those long moments of silence, the storms of worry calm down, and waves of pleasure emerge from deep contemplation, bringing unexpected joy to the heart. A mind filled with pleasure won’t care about following rules or feeling the urge to stray from its path. Everyone wants to live well, right? One of the things that gets in the way of truly living well and enjoying life is chasing fleeting moments of indulgence.

 

I broke some rules I set for myself, but I felt free. So why do I feel disappointed? That’s where the key point comes in. As the author says, freedom has to be paired with self-control. It’s funny because the more you hear about self-control, the less appealing it sounds. But remember, when you can practice self-control, paradoxically, you actually feel a greater sense of freedom. So, what do you all think about this today? From controlling how much we eat to organizing our fridge and kitchen to the calm mindset we bring to reading – it’s all about what we choose to take in and what we decide to let go of in this big journey of life. I’ve shared my thoughts on self-control and how it affects our lives. And to wrap things up, a poem beautifully captures all of this. It’s "The House Was Quiet and the World Was Calm" by Wallace Stevens. It goes, "The house was quiet, and the world was calm. The reader became the book, and summer night was like a conscious book." So, it’s all about that quiet space.

 

Summer nights feel like a complete thought. The calm is part of the meaning, part of the mind, and a complete approach to a book. The quiet of home is how it should be—it's quiet because it's summer, it's night, and there you are, leaning back and reading a book late into the evening. I hope you all jot down these three things in your diary or notebook. I always say this, but our time and lives really fly by, right? And even though tons of fun things are happening at the end of the year, remember that you are choosing to listen to this video and are among a tiny group. Please keep that in mind. I’ve prepared something for you today. I’ve often said that success will follow effortlessly if you get this right first. Today, I will dive into the habits that can significantly shift your subconscious mindset. I’ll share insights from BJ Fogg, the author of "Tiny Habits," along with my thoughts. BJ Fogg is from Stanford University, where he studies behaviour design.

 

 

For 20 years, I've designed and studied the actions of a whopping 60,000 people to figure out why people fail and how they can succeed. I found a pattern to it—a kind of formula. Your daily habits shape your image of yourself and how you want to be. The author emphasizes that a formula helps turn these habits into something tangible for you. Psychologists have even said that this approach to understanding human behaviour is one of the most systematic and practical. If you pay close attention today, you’ll find those clichéd and exhausting success habits can be pretty easy to adopt. So, let’s get right to the point. According to the author’s research, three key factors trigger behaviour: motivation, ability, and prompts, which they call the BN map. All three need to be present for the behaviour to happen. The authors named this model after themselves, calling it the Fogg Behavior Model, and it’s kind of like a math formula.

 

 

It might seem a bit complicated, but it’s not. Let’s break it down together. So, when we talk about behaviour, it happens when three things come together: motivation, ability, and stimulus. Motivation is the desire to do something, ability is the potential to actually do it, and stimulus is any signal that prompts that action. For instance, let’s say you have this strong motivation to achieve a goal and want to succeed. But if you only have motivation and lack ability and stimulus, you’ll find yourself saying things like, "I want to be successful" or "I want to be rich," but you won’t act. Time keeps passing by, and you’ll end up living like that. As I mentioned in my book, "The Mind," this desire comes along with ability. The problem is that we often think we don’t have that ability and then convince ourselves that it’s not there. So, I’ve talked about motivation and ability, and now, let’s get to the stimulus. It’s like those videos that pop up on your YouTube feed.

 

 

You know, the stuff you see can really influence your life. If you check out someone’s social media feed, it’s often filled with videos about success, fitness, health, and how to be rich. If that person is motivated and knows they have potential, those videos can inspire and push them to keep moving forward. It makes sense because motivation, ability, and stimulation are all in place—exactly what you need to get someone to take action. Conversely, some people’s feeds are packed with mukbangs or gaming content. I’m not saying those feeds are bad, though. The key point is that if someone has specific motivations and abilities but is surrounded by distractions that have nothing to do with their goals, they get held back. It turns into self-sabotage. So, setting up your environment and the kind of stimulation you have around you is really important. That’s something I always emphasize.

 

 

I'm not exactly sure what steps you need to take right now to hit your goals, but if you want to make your dreams a reality, you need to have a serious inner dialogue with yourself. A total mindset shift is essential. Now, I know it can feel overwhelming, like you have to make huge changes overnight or put yourself through a lot of pain—trust me, that’s not how it works. Think of it this way: just like a big picture on a screen comprises tiny pixels, your big successes come from small wins. Those small wins are basically your daily routines or habits. Once you get that, you'll see why designing your habits is crucial. Here's the interesting part: whether they're good habits or bad habits, the way they work is the same. There’s a guy at the gym who, while riding a bike, saw a text from the Red Cross and immediately donated 30,000 won. It’s that simple.

 

 

Let's break down this behaviour. What motivated this person to act? There are three key factors we can look at. First, this person regularly watched the news about wars and felt bad seeing innocent civilians getting hurt or losing their lives. They genuinely wanted to help, so that was their motivation. Then, they received a text from the Red Cross, which made it easy to donate $30 with just one click. Lastly, they could spare that $30 for a donation. When these three elements came together, they donated to war orphans. If the Red Cross's message had required entering a credit card number, installing verification software, or going through a complex identification process, it would have been too overwhelming for someone just trying to exercise on a stationary bike. In that case, they probably wouldn't have taken any action. So, did you catch all that?

 

 

Have you ever felt overwhelmed? When the pressure is greater than your ability, that's when things go wrong. So, we shouldn't expect too much from ourselves right now. Even if you’re motivated, you won't take action if the task feels too big. Why? Because you don’t feel capable of handling it yet. That’s why I always say to aim for small successes every day. You need to break down what you want to do into manageable pieces. I hope this clears things up for you if you were wondering about that. If you really want to turn something you’ve never made a habit into a routine, it can't feel like a huge burden. It also can't feel too big to tackle today. Start small, like dust. Those little bits add up to success. Honestly, everyone feels envy from time to time. You see someone who works out regularly, keeps their desk organized, writes blog posts daily, speaks English well, or reads for 30 minutes without missing a day, and you wonder how they do it.

 

"Let's keep going. You know, there are these things. Please really focus here, everyone. If you feel envious, it means you also have that motivation. And that motivation has to be strong. Let's take a look at the behaviour model graph. For example, let’s say you want to make reading for 30 minutes daily a habit. According to this graph, your motivation has to be strong, but more importantly, it needs to be easy to do. In other words, you should be capable of doing it right now. People only take action when they receive a stimulus that pushes them beyond their current behaviour curve. Let’s assume your motivation is super high, but you can't do it. Essentially, it feels way too hard right now. For instance, imagine someone who hasn't read a book in ten years, let alone for 30 minutes daily. But then they see someone around them who changed their life through reading, and suddenly their motivation skyrockets. So they think, 'I need to read too!' But the problem is, they don’t even know what book to start with or how to begin, and they feel overwhelmed."

 

 

Reading a page feels like a chore when constantly checking your phone and adjusting your posture. It’s like 30 minutes stretch into hours. For someone who struggles with reading, that half hour can feel overwhelming, while for someone who’s made reading a habit, it seems super easy. But when they feel pressured to read, they might get stressed and frustrated, thinking, “Am I someone who can’t even read for 30 minutes a day?” On the flip side, they might be able to read but lack motivation. If that’s the case, they’ll ignore any reminders to read. Even though they could easily read for half an hour, they won't even notice related YouTube videos in their feed if they don't feel the need. Their subconscious filters it out, so they end up missing it altogether.

 

 

All right, everyone. The actions you want to take need to follow that action curve. So, first off, you need to have the motivation today, and you need to have the ability to do it. When you combine those, it becomes a habit that is part of your identity. When something becomes a habit, it gets automated. We often call it being unconscious, but it’s actually just a habit that’s become second nature. Once this happens, you'll find yourself doing things naturally without any conscious thought or decision. That's when you level up. So, after watching this video today, if you find there's something you want to do but aren’t acting on it, take a moment to check where you might be lacking in motivation, ability, or triggers. Maybe one is strong while another is weak, or they’re all pretty weak. It won’t take more than five minutes. Just give it a shot! The higher your motivation, the easier it is to take action. But even if one area is a bit weak, if another is really strong, the action curve can still work for you, as we saw in the graph.

 

 

So this means that when you level up, it depends on how good you are at one thing compared to the other. You don't have to be perfect at both; if your motivation is super strong, like a 100, you can get by with just a 50 in ability. But if your motivation is only about 70, then you need your ability to be at least 70 to take action. Also, motivation and ability only kick in when there's some stimulus; nothing happens without that. No matter how motivated or skilled you are, if there's no push, you won't act. The author really emphasizes this point. The stimulus is different from motivation and ability; if you miss your phone ringing, you won’t answer it—it's quick to fade away. For example, after watching a motivational video, you might feel like, "Yeah, I should go work out!" or "I need to read a page of my book right now!" But once that video is gone and a little time passes, that motivation can disappear.

 

 

Even if you have the motivation and ability, it’s tough to take action when the drive is gone. That’s why I always say, “Just do it right away!” You need to act before that motivation fades. So, if you want to see results, check if something motivates you to take action. It works the other way around, too—if you don’t want to do something like avoiding a chocolate bar, keep it out of sight. It makes things a lot easier. If you mindlessly grab your phone before bed and get stuck in a rabbit hole of shorts, try charging your phone in another room and using an alarm clock instead. That’s how you change your triggers. If you’ve set up your triggers well but can’t connect them to action or keep doing things you don’t want, check if you can take that action right now. For example, if a team member always shows up late for meetings,

 

 

Let’s say someone is running late. First, I’d ask if they set an alarm for the meeting time to see if a proper reminder existed. That could solve the issue most of the time, but not always. Then, I’d need to figure out why they might struggle to make it on time. Is their workload too heavy right before the meeting, or are they back-to-back in meetings? If that’s the case, it’s clear there’s a problem with their capacity to manage. I'd check their motivation if there’s no issue with the reminder or their ability. The author highlights that if someone lacks motivation, they won’t even feel the need to show up. Motivation should be the first thing we look at, not the last. If someone isn’t motivated, it’s no surprise they won’t act. Aligning motivation, ability, and reminders is key to changing your life.

 

You can't just apply this to specific goals; it’s also super helpful for minor conflicts within a family. The author shares a hilarious story about how he and his wife argued over cleaning the shower stall for years. Their house had this issue where water wouldn’t drain well, so mould kept showing up. His wife kept telling him to wipe down the shower after using it. But he didn’t really do it. One day, his wife took him to the shower, and he acted out the exact behaviour he always talks about. It’s pretty funny! She said, “We both want a clean shower,” and he agreed. They figured out they had the same goal. Then she asked him why closing the shower door was so hard. He replied that he didn’t know what he was supposed to do—was he supposed to wipe it down with a towel, use a squeegee, or even clean the walls? He didn’t get her request because it was too vague. And then she immediately said something about the showerhead.

 

 

If you lock the door, grab the used towel and wipe the floor like this. Then toss the towel in the laundry basket, and you're done. The author felt foolish for not asking immediately since his wife's method was easy. Once she demonstrated what to do, the task seemed way more straightforward. It felt like a piece of cake. The author genuinely wanted to make his wife happy and was motivated to clean the shower booth. That motivation got him to act on it every day after his showers. Now, I often talk about success, and you might think this example about cleaning the shower booth is trivial. But I share this because even the most straightforward actions can reveal a lot about your mindset if you take a moment to notice them. Lastly, I want to mention a woman who worked hard before marriage and continued after having kids.

 

 

She used to enjoy an active lifestyle before having kids, but even a 5-minute walk felt tough after becoming a mom. She relied on instant food or meals lacking nutrition, expressing the frustration and helplessness many felt. She often reflected on how pathetic she felt. She wondered why carving out just 5 minutes was so hard for herself. Did she need a personal trainer or help around the house? Eventually, the frustration got so overwhelming that she fell into a depression. She avoided dealing with these issues while preparing dinner and cleaning up the kids' toys. As her kids grew and needed less hands-on care, she started noticing people on YouTube and other media living healthy, active lives, which sparked her motivation to want to find her own healthy and awesome self again. With just one decision, she sought out an author for help. Working with the author, she broke down her past and present actions step by step, leading her to realize...

 

I realized that the kind of exercise that motivates me is the one I do with others. I started with 30 minutes once a week, then moved to an hour, and now I’m up to two times a week. Before I knew it, I got back into my old workout routine. Finding time for specific actions can be challenging, so don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t blame yourself at all. Instead, try writing down what might trigger that behaviour. Think about what makes it hard and jot down your thoughts directly. All actions need to start with putting pen to paper. Once you see what you need to change, it becomes obvious. In the end, it’s all about knowing yourself. You have to be aware of your current state and your motivations. Figure out where your abilities stand and what kind of environment you’re in. Sure, developing good habits is great, but before that, you really need to understand what’s holding you back.

 

 

Let's take a closer look at what’s dragging you down first because that’s way more effective. Some of you might still find it challenging to check in on your actions, so here’s a tip: think of yourself as a scientist observing microorganisms growing in a petri dish. Just watch your behaviour like that. Lastly, I hope you jot down these three things in your diary or notebook: Stop blaming yourself, break down your desired actions into tiny bits, and remember that mistakes are just discoveries. I truly believe that. You’re narrowing the gap between who you are and who you want to be. So, figure out an action you want to take and break it down into manageable steps that fit your current level, then weave it into your daily routine. Just keep at it. Don’t forget that real change starts from small beginnings. Tomorrow is mine.

 

 

Let's dive into what really gets in the way of success. I want to break this down for you all, even if my voice is slightly off today. Big thanks to all of you subscribers who stick around until the end! We tend to focus on finding reasons for our struggles, but today let’s look for real solutions instead. Keep repeating this: today, we discuss what motivates people to act. I will share a solid method called the "3 Steps of Behavior Design." Whether you're a pro at getting things done or a bit lazy, these three steps will help you take action. I'm pulling insights from BJ Fogg, a behaviour design expert at Stanford, and mixing in my thoughts. Yesterday, in part one, we discussed how motivation, ability, and prompts must come together for behaviour to happen. Today, let’s dig into motivation and determine what actions we need to take to move forward.

 

 

We're trying to determine what exactly leads to success and whether a specific set of actions can get us there. First off, what drives us? It's that urge to act, whether it's on a broad level or in specific situations. That urge is what we call motivation. Because of this motivation, we sometimes make spontaneous decisions—like quitting our jobs, rushing to help someone in a crisis, cleaning out our homes of junk in one go, or suddenly signing up for a year's worth of English classes and sprinting to the airport to catch a flight. But here's the thing: motivation can be fickle. It’s like the ocean, constantly changing in strength and intensity, shifting every minute and second. So, let’s break down the characteristics of motivation: 1. It's super unpredictable. 2. Its intensity changes like waves. 3. What we want can shift every minute. 4. It’s impossible to predict. According to the author's research, motivation generally decreases from morning to evening and from Monday to Friday. So, that's what we’re looking at.

 

 

Making complicated decisions in the afternoon than in the morning gets more challenging. And here’s something interesting: as soon as Friday night hits, most people lose their motivation for self-improvement. So, we can't fully control our motivation because of these ups and downs. It's not your fault; this motivation's basic settings are vague and abstract, which makes it out of our hands. But something is interesting here: there are unique situations where a certain level of motivation keeps showing up and sticking around. We call this "aspiration." So, if we want to break down this motivation to maintain a steady level, we need to figure out what actions to take to keep that motivation going. If you started acting for a specific motivation but now find it hard to keep going, there’s a way to handle it. I’ll share how you can keep doing the best actions for you.

 

 

The key is to keep your motivation going, so let me emphasize this again. It's essential to maintain actions that match your level. So, naturally, the first step in designing your behaviour is to clarify your aspirations. In this first step, write down your desires or the outcomes you want on paper. Feel free to revise it anytime. If you've written down a desire like studying a foreign language, ask yourself if that's really what you want. It might be, but it could also not be. If you're unsure, think about why you want it. The real reason might not be about being fluent in a language but feeling pressured because everyone around you is studying hard, and you feel like you're falling behind. This happens a lot. Alternatively, what you truly want could be to live abroad a few years later.

 

 

By clarifying your desires through this process, we can effectively design the actions you really want to take. The author initially thought mindfulness was their true desire, but after some reflection, they realized it wasn't. What they genuinely wanted was to reduce stress in their daily life. There's a big difference in the details of those desires, which leads to completely different actions. Reducing stress starts with avoiding things that cause stress, while mindfulness usually involves trying something entirely different. So, one is about not doing something, and the other is about starting something new. Take the time to clarify your desires carefully. The next step is to explore what actionable options are available to you. This exploration of action options is incredibly important, yet most people skip it because they mainly focus on their desires and the outcomes rather than the actions themselves.

 

 

When you think about it, desires are pretty abstract, like wanting your kid to be a top student in school. Conversely, the results are a bit clearer—like aiming for all A's this semester. But we tend to focus on these two things: the desire and the result. You might think, "Well, if I just work hard, I'll get all A's this semester," but it’s not that simple. Working hard needs to turn into specific actions. You see, desires and results aren’t actions. Actions are what you can do right now or at a particular time. For example, turning off your phone or opening your textbook and reading five pages—that’s what we call an action. But honestly, we often look for excuses. Instead, let’s focus on finding the proper methods today. So, keep repeating this: desires are precise, and actions are specific. If you desire to manage your blood sugar, then... when are you going to start?

 

 

If you’ve got a clear desire to get healthy and know what you want to achieve, it’s time to explore the actions you can take. There are many health programs on YouTube and stories from people around you who have been through it, which can be super helpful. Now, we’re at the last step of designing your actions. You need to pick the actions that really fit you. The author calls these "golden actions". They must meet two criteria: 1. The reward you get from the action should be as big as possible. 2. You need to have the ability to do it. According to the author’s model, if your motivation is sky-high, like in the diagram, you might be able to take action even if it seems harsh. That’s because your motivation is so strong. But remember, motivation can be fickle, like waves, and it tends to fade over time. So, you need to choose actions that are easy enough to do, even as your motivation drops. If the difficulty level is too high when your motivation starts to dip, it will be a struggle.

 

It's tough to get things done right now. When motivation and ability meet, you can't do it anymore if they fall below that action curve. There's also another factor that stops us—it's the conflicting nature of motivation. I want to clean, but I also want to rest or cut out sugar, but I crave something sweet. Both of those are my motivations, but they totally clash. That's just how motivation works. It's funny because we have these opposing motivations, which puts us in a dilemma. Whatever is easier to do with your current skills usually wins out in such situations. So, relaxing is easier when you have conflicting motivations to clean and rest. That's why most of the time, we choose to rest instead of clean. If you decide to chill out right now, it’s not just about cleaning or resting; other conflicting motivations are usually at play, and you keep leaning towards the easier one.

 

 

You really need to pick the right things to change your life, but why is it so hard to take action? If you're feeling like your identity is being messed with and you're getting down on yourself, you absolutely need to put a stop to that. The goal of all our actions isn't to be superior; it’s about protecting who we are and keeping the identity we want alive. So, what can you do? You step back and go for something even easier than you think. For example, you could watch some YouTube videos. For many of us today, lying down and scrolling through our phones is more straightforward than relaxing. So, instead of doing nothing, try to watch videos about cleaning. What do you think will happen? You’ll start to feel motivated to clean. If you keep watching, that motivation will really ramp up. It’s like binge-watching food videos before bed—you want that food so much that you must eat it the next day. It's the same deal with motivation; once it hits a certain level, it can explode!

 

 

When we get up, it feels like we’ve been working nonstop, almost to the point where we forget to take breaks. It's so easy to fall into the trap of doing what we shouldn't, but if you find yourself slipping, it’s crucial to devise another action that’s just as simple but doesn’t compromise who you are. So, starting now, break down the actions that can help you maintain your success identity into tiny steps. Let’s determine how small those steps must be by Monday and what actions fit your current level. You don’t need to see anything above ground immediately; plant the seeds. Eventually, they’ll sprout, and you’ll get better over time. It’s essential to prepare yourself to weather the storms. Changing your mindset about success, even in tiny ways, can really make a difference. If it sounds easy or hard, I’ll clarify exactly what you must focus on in today’s video. Stay tuned!

 

 

I'm diving into some insights from BJ Fogg, the director of behaviour design research at a university with a PhD in psychological communication. He talks about those success habits that everyone keeps mentioning, and I'm trying to figure out the psychology behind how we can adopt them. So, here’s the gist of what I found: there are three main points. First, start small. Just do something that takes 30 seconds or less. Keeping it simple and small actually helps with almost everything, and this simplicity can change your behaviour and who you are in the long run. Now, let’s break this down a bit more. There's a formula for getting people to act: for behaviour to happen, you need motivation, ability, and prompt all at the same time. Motivation is your desire to do something, ability refers to how easy or hard it is to take that action, and the prompt is your environment. Many psychologists praise Fogg's behaviour model—it shows that people will only act when they’re on that behaviour curve. So, if something feels too hard for you today, start with something manageable.

 

 

You really need a strong desire to turn thoughts into actions. On the flip side, if your motivation is low—like if you’re not pumped up about something—then it’s super easy not to do it. Essentially, the point where motivation meets ability is where the action happens. But here’s the kicker: our motivation changes all the time. It tends to fade away as the day goes on, and from Monday to the weekend, it keeps dropping. So, getting out of bed or off the couch is tough. Since our motivation keeps shifting, the only thing we can change is our ability—making it easier to take action. That way, no matter how your motivation shifts, you can still act on what you want to do. You might want to do something, feel like you should, and know it’d be good for you, but don’t act. And then you beat yourself up about it, getting stuck in that negative self-talk like “I can’t do this.”

 

 

I really need to stop messing with my own identity, right? So, I talked about figuring out what actions fit me best. This is the three-step process for designing those actions: Step 1: Clarify your desires. Step 2: Explore your options. Step 3: Pick the right action. This action design process has seven steps, but today I’ll break down steps 4 and 5 for you in a super simple way. So, step 4 is all about starting small. You might think, "How can I change my life with tiny actions?" Well, I’m here to answer that. Instagram became a hit because it encouraged users to act. Long before the Instagram app even launched, two developers were paying close attention to people and realized that there was a strong desire to share their current state with others.

 

Only two services let you share your status with others: location sharing and photo sharing. Out of those, people mostly used the photo-sharing service because it was easier. So, two developers created an app that made it super simple to use your smartphone camera. People have this basic urge to remember their surroundings and show off or share it with someone. Among those urges, the easiest way is to snap a photo and share it immediately. These two developers designed the app to make that action easy. That was the key. When Instagram launched in 2010, you could upload a photo with just three clicks. You could tell just from their marketing slogan that it was as easy as pie. Within 18 months of launching, Facebook bought Instagram for a whopping $1 billion, about 1.3 trillion won today. It was a huge deal, and people said Instagram was ridiculously overhyped.

 

 

It was a mocking atmosphere, but the innovative companies dominating Silicon Valley knew one thing: there's nothing as sure of success as a straightforward approach. Most people operate under the assumption that they have to go all in or nothing. They think to break bad habits, reduce stress, or make a ton of money, they need to do something extreme. Some even believe they have to quit drinking, sell their apartments, and risk everything they have. Sometimes, those who succeed dramatically like this suddenly become the center of attention and the stars of their own story. But the truth is, most of us don't see the behind-the-scenes grind. Life isn't just made up of bold, epic moments. Sure, it sometimes calls for boldness, but real success comes from gradual improvement and consistent effort, which is pretty dull. Success is built on 20% bold decisions and 80% simple, repeated actions. Simple is where it’s at; it’s what allows you to take almost any action.

 

 

"Make sure you remember this: no matter how big or small the change you want to achieve is, it all starts with a tiny action. That simplicity can permanently change the outcome of your life. Remember two things when creating simple actions: accept the starter phase and scale down your actions. Let’s say you want to build a habit of running 5 km. Where do you start? You can do it by putting on your running shoes. And let’s pretend running 5 km is something you've never done before. In that case, tell yourself: 'I don’t need to run. I need to put on my shoes every day.' Just putting on those shoes changes your mindset. Once putting on your shoes becomes a habit, walking won’t feel like a hassle anymore. Once walking feels easy, you can start jogging for 30 seconds in the middle of your walk. After a month, you can run for a whole minute. That’s how it works. And before you know it, one day, you'll find yourself running almost every day."

 

 

So, you wear those sneakers, head outside, and jog around the neighbourhood. This starter step opens the door to building bigger habits. Focus on small actions you can do in 30 seconds, and don’t rush to raise your expectations or scale up too quickly. If running feels too much, go for a walk; if walking is too much, wear sneakers. There’s someone here who decided to start having breakfast. He’s never eaten breakfast before, and after his irregular eating habits messed him up, his doctor recommended he try it. So now, the first thing he does when he wakes up is turn on the stove. That’s his self-defined starter step. Even doing a tiny action at this stage is a success because the goal is to keep the habit alive and leave room for growth. As these small, seemingly trivial actions build-up, you’ll move on to the next stage. It’s all about those simple actions.

 

 

This is the fifth principle: breaking things down. I want you to remember this. If you have an overwhelming task, try breaking it into smaller parts, such as working out hard for just 7 minutes a day. For someone who hasn’t exercised in years, that can be tough! Trust me, 7 minutes of hard exercise isn’t easy. Or reading for 30 minutes daily or doing 20 push-ups—seriously, it’s not a walk in the park. When I started working on my legs, I aimed to do just one squat daily. I aimed for that, gradually increasing to two, then three, and eventually doing three sets of 20 squats, which adds up to 60! I want to stress the key point: you don’t have to be perfect. Focus on being consistent. Building a habit isn’t about reaching perfection; it’s about keeping it alive. Let me say it again: habits aren’t about being perfect but about being sustainable. You need to establish a solid foundation in your daily life. Picture a big plant with shallow roots—it can’t handle strong winds and will topple over.

 

 

The principle of keeping habits alive is the same. Big, ambitious actions are like a giant plant with weak roots. They might seem appealing and give you a good feeling, but they fall apart when life’s storms hit. You need to strengthen your roots first. It’s okay if nothing is visible above the soil right now; eventually, you’ll see shoots and do even better later. What’s important is to build resilience to withstand the storms. If you’ve made it this far, you probably won’t question whether such small changes can make a difference anymore. You’ve grasped the true meaning of success. Motivation is the last piece of the puzzle that gets you to take action. The truth is that without motivation, no action will happen. Your potential is always there, hidden inside you. When motivation comes along, it sparks that potential like fireworks. And here’s the amazing part: this motivation is something you can cultivate yourself.

 

 

It's about designing behaviour, and I've talked about starting really small in step four. Now, in step five, we need to provide the right triggers. The author shares some really interesting points here. In this behaviour model, motivation and ability can happen continuously, but triggers come from outside us. So, we either notice these triggers or we don't. Even if we catch on late, if the timing's not right, the action won't happen. So, what exactly are these triggers? There are three kinds. The first is human triggers, which are literally stimuli given by people. For example, when a mom tells her daughter, "You need to do your homework," that's a direct trigger. However, the author emphasizes that this type of trigger is the least effective of the three. Then there's the self-talk we do, like saying to ourselves, "Let's get this done," or "I can achieve this." Other types won't work if human triggers aren't in play.

 

 

Stimuli don’t mean much. More than anything, when you’re alone, you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. That’s super important. Then there’s situational stimuli. For example, setting an alarm or writing a note are situational triggers. But if you put too many of them, you can become desensitized and stop paying attention. I think we’ve all experienced ignoring an alarm at some point. So, situational stimuli are better for one-time actions, like a doctor’s appointment, rather than creating regular habits. Now, if neither human nor situational stimuli seem to fit, what kind of trigger do we need for those success habits, those regular habits? That’s where action stimuli come in. This is what you could call a habit hack. You probably already have some actions you do regularly and want to attach new habits to those.

 

 

It's all about connecting habits. For example, the author wanted to get into the flossing habit, so they tacked that onto their habit of brushing their teeth daily. The brushing became a trigger for the new flossing habit. The habit you already have acts as an "anchor" for the new one you're trying to build. An anchor habit is super simple but really effective at reminding you to do the new habit. So, you want to find an anchor habit similar to the one you want to develop. You’ve probably been doing this anchor habit in your daily life already, so it might feel like you don’t have any special habits, but that’s just because you might not recognize them. Everyone has their unique routines that they follow without even realizing it. If you think about it, they’re there. And here’s the key point: every habit starts somewhere.

 

 

When introducing a new habit, the key is finding a spot in your daily routine where it can fit in. It’s all about stacking your anchor habits with new ones. This way, you can build those satisfying habits we call a “successful life.” The author refers to this as a "habit recipe." To clarify, your new habit should ideally occur in the exact location as your existing habits. For example, if you want to develop a habit of cleaning the table right after eating, look for a daily habit you already have in the kitchen. Also, the frequency of your anchor and new habits should align. If you want to add a new habit that happens once a day, you should attach it to an anchor habit that also occurs daily. Getting the timing right is more important than you might think. There’s actually a case where someone decided to do push-ups every time they went to the bathroom.

 

 

So, they say they connected the habit of doing something five times. But, you know, you still go to the bathroom when you wake up at night, right? This person habitually got up way too often to go to the bathroom at night. So, the frequency didn’t match up. It started to feel off, and they felt guilty about not following through and just gave up. They tried to link two habits simultaneously that couldn’t even happen in the same place. If you can perfectly align the physical location and frequency, you can weave new habits into your daily life without much effort. The author goes further and shares an easier way to build habits. Listen up, this is a golden tip! It’s about focusing on the details. Let’s say someone wants to get into cleaning the sink. The sink gets dirty and starts to smell just a few days later, and every time they see it, it just brings them down.

 

 

I was always unhappy because things weren't great or hygienic, and it stressed me out that I didn’t have the habit of cleaning the sink regularly. So, she decided to create a routine where she would clean the sink after putting away the breakfast dishes. But it didn’t really work. Later on, the author brought in the “anchor habit” of turning off the faucet. So, right after turning off the faucet, she adjusted her routine to clean the sink. The outcome was a success; the sensation of turning off the faucet and suddenly hearing the water stop made the trigger more apparent. Now, all she has to do is wipe down the sink. The key here is having a trigger. It’s about feeling the triggers through your senses right before you want to start a new habit. Think about what you’ll listen to, what you’ll see, and how you’ll feel. When that sensation hits, it pushes you to start a new habit. Before you know it, you might even find a way to use unpleasant triggers to your advantage.

 

 

She says she immediately listens to her favourite music when an argument or something unpleasant happens. It's like connecting that bad vibe to something that cheers her up. She's gradually expanded this idea. When she feels insulted, she makes sure to do something great. Because of this mindset, she was able to develop really good habits that set her apart from others. I mentioned before that when someone experiences a negative emotion, they need three positive experiences to feel emotionally balanced. Anyway, the key point here is that she regained the power to control her life and felt like she was giving herself a gift, a lovely double reward. Of course, it would be great without negative triggers, but we all know that’s pretty tough in social life. So, if you keep thinking, “This is just how life is; it sucks, and I want to go home,” then you end up stuck in that mindset forever.

 

 

Last year, it was like this all the time, and this year, it's the same, so next year will probably be the same, too. Honestly, social life here feels pretty miserable. Instead of dwelling on that, I've decided to take control of myself. It’s like that woman I mentioned earlier—when she shifted her mindset, she let go of some of her anger and sadness over time. Once she found peace in her heart, her perspective on others’ situations changed too. At first, she was getting mad and feeling down all by herself, but now she’s even looking out for others who might be struggling more than she is. And here's an important point: all those habits and little successes we discuss? They’re really for ourselves first. We must care for ourselves before we can truly protect the people and things we care about. People change not through negative feelings but through positive ones.

 

 

Try really putting that habit into practice using the method I mentioned. It’s not just about helping others; first and foremost, it's about incorporating those habits into your life. I always tell my subscribers that you need to help yourself. It’s natural to feel greedy from the start, and that's okay. But if you go in with the mindset of doing something big and impressive right away, you might find it overwhelming and feel defeated. Don’t get stuck in that cycle of frustration and self-blame. So far, we’ve covered five out of the seven steps in the major journey of designing successful actions that lead to a paradigm shift in life. Let’s recap those five steps: 1. Clarify your desire 2. Explore action options 3. Pick the right action 4. Start super small 5. Provide the right triggers. Now, you might have noticed something missing from these five steps. It’s a crucial area that many people overlook: the emotional aspect. Specifically, the emotions are what’s missing. Actions without emotions are...

 

 

You're gonna dry up and die if you don't watch out. So tomorrow, I will talk about how emotions can help keep you on track toward success and what happens when those actions become a habit. I’ll break it all down for you because it’s super important. Our emotions have a significant impact on whether we can repeat certain actions. It’s not just about frequency or willpower but about emotions. Now, just a heads up, my throat isn’t fully better yet, so it might sound a bit off today. But even though my voice isn’t great, I’m still here to share my energy with each of you. Let’s get into it. You really need to pay attention to how you can climb to success. Watch the video and see for yourself—you can totally achieve it. You’ll understand why I’m starting so passionately after you watch the whole thing. 

 

 

I want to talk about something significant. Emotions drive our actions, and those actions create habits which ultimately lead to success. Let me say that again: it's all about emotions leading to actions. Those actions turn into habits, making it impossible for you to avoid success. I'm bringing insights from BJ Fogg, a Stanford University behaviour design expert who has spent 20 years studying human behaviour and success. I'm combining his ideas with my own to share with you. Here are the 7 steps for designing actions to change your life paradigm: 1. Be clear about your desires. 2. Explore your options for action. 3. Pick the right action. 4. Start small. 5. Provide the correct prompts. We've gone through these five steps in the last video; even those are pretty detailed. Making changes involves breaking down actions, providing triggers, designing your environment, and understanding how long it takes to form habits. This is what the author has focused on in his research. But let me tell you, this whole detailed process is now becoming outdated.

 

 

"I threw it all away. The author sighed after figuring out the connection between emotions, habits, and success. She says when she teaches about human behaviour, she makes the point very clear in one sentence: emotions create habits. That’s all there is to it. But you might wonder, 'So what emotions am I supposed to feel, and how do I trigger them?' Here’s the thing: what you need to do is pretty clear. Even if your little successes feel fake, celebrate yourself. How do you do that? Let’s hear from the author. One confession: I haven’t mentioned something that helped me build this flossing habit. It’s like another piece of the puzzle. I was under so much stress, just barely getting through each day. My new business was failing, and my young nephew tragically passed away. The author says she struggled so much that she couldn’t even sleep properly—she was up until 3 AM working on reports, barely managing to fall asleep."

 

 

So, they didn't even want to look in the mirror while washing up. You know, one thing about people feeling down is that they tend to avoid mirrors purposely. They can't stand to see their messy appearance and awful mood and don’t want to face it. Then, one morning, the author woke up with a terrible taste in their mouth, so they decided to floss. When you floss, you end up looking in the mirror. So, they took a peek and forced a smile, saying, "Well, even though I didn’t want to, I flossed today. Good job, I did it." At that moment, the author felt something strange happening inside. They couldn't quite put their finger on it, but it felt like there was a shift. A warm space in their dark, heavy heart seemed to open up. They started to feel a bit calmer and a little lighter. And then they wanted to hold onto that feeling more. Recently, their niece...

 

 

He was at rock bottom, feeling like his life was falling apart, and he thought it was ridiculous that using dental floss made him feel a bit better. He wondered how something so simple could lift his spirits. But if the author hadn’t been a behavioural scientist, he might have just brushed off that moment like everyone else. Instead, he kept asking himself questions. At the time, he didn’t know how emotions were tied to habits and success, so he recalled deep questions like, “Why did I feel better just from using dental floss? Was it the flossing because I looked in the mirror and celebrated a little or smiled?” After that, he started flossing every morning and night, forcing a smile in the mirror and telling himself he was successful. His unhappy reality didn’t change, but he felt like he was definitely improving, even if it wasn’t visible at first.

 

 

Through this experience, the author developed the 6 stages of behaviour design after thorough research. They really emphasize that these stages are crucial. The first step? Celebrate your successes! If people don’t consciously do this, they end up just going through life beating themselves up. After studying 60,000 people over 20 years, the author's findings are clear: most people tend to think, “I messed up.” While it’s definitely important to recognize when we go wrong, we also need to be just as aware of when we do something right. The problem is a lot of folks don’t know how to celebrate their wins. This is a more significant issue than we might think. Successful people often struggle to acknowledge their achievements and rarely feel satisfied with what they've done. They even find it a bit strange to feel happy about small victories. So, listen up! From now on, let’s change that!

 

 

Create a way to celebrate yourself in the moment that lifts your spirits. If you want to succeed and build that success habit, this isn’t just a suggestion—it’s a must. Self-celebration can happen anytime, whether you’re feeling good or bad because it helps bring out positive emotions. And those positive feelings play a key role in reinforcing that habit in your brain. The author measured the effects of self-celebration weekly across many people and even observed how top athletes and celebrities naturally celebrate their successes. They dug into scientific papers and literature for years, and now we have the answer: self-celebration lights up the brain's reward system. At that moment, dopamine is released, and your brain recognizes and encodes your actions. Basically, you’re leveraging that dopamine.

 

 

"Don't use it for sweet stuff, okay? Focus on the things you want to do. I’m sure I can help you with that, but it’s something you haven’t mastered yet, so try using dopamine for those tasks. Think about a baby taking their first steps. Mom and Dad watch and feel pure, endless joy. The baby wobbles but is adorable, grabbing the table to stand up. With courage, they lift one hand off the table, and Mom reaches out, saying, 'Come here, you got this!' Step by step, the baby walks into Mom's arms. Then Mom and Dad scoop the baby up, cheering and clapping. This support helps the baby learn to walk faster because the brain remembers that habit. Repeating positive feelings enhances the emotions even more, triggering a chemical reaction in the brain. The brain wants to remember that action, and it does."

 

 

So, it gets you to do that action again. The brain constantly reassesses experiences from the world around us—like sights, sounds, smells, and movements. So even if nothing seems to change, if you plant a positive emotion, like celebrating something, your brain will reevaluate that experience. It’s like when a baby takes its first steps; dopamine is released in the brain and starts associating walking with something great—something it needs to do. Your actions work the same way. As shown in the picture, emotions can trigger actions automatically, and eventually, they can make those actions completely automatic. This is super important! Let me reiterate: our feelings have a direct and massive impact on the likelihood of repeating certain behaviours. So, building successful habits isn’t about frequency or willpower; it’s all about emotions—recognizing success and saying, “You did it!” Many of you might never have experienced this before, but that's what success is all about.

 

 

The author suggests that you can "hack" your brain. This is something I've mentioned countless times before: to achieve what you want, you need to trick yourself into believing it’s already happening. So, how do you actually do this? The author gives two tips. First, celebrate right after you take action—immediacy is key. Next, you need to feel like you’re celebrating genuinely. The intensity of that celebration matters! Dopamine gets released in your brain quickly, so to form a habit, you need to send out those positive feelings right after you act. If there’s too much time between your experience and the reward, it won’t work. Also, the intensity of your celebration is crucial, and personal preference plays a significant role. What makes one person feel good might not work for someone else. For example, you might love the smell of coffee, but it doesn’t mean a thing to someone else. So, find a way to celebrate that works for you—your brain really dislikes anything that feels awkward or forced.

 

 

When you feel something, your brain tends to avoid that behaviour. So the key is genuinely celebrating yourself to make your brain feel good. You need to feel proud. I do this all the time. After achieving even the tiniest success, I tell myself, "You did great, really great!" Please create your little phrases, gestures, expressions, or actions that make you feel proud, and try to attach them right after that new behaviour you want to make a habit. Your brain will definitely create a new pattern. If self-celebration feels awkward or cringy, remember these three things: First, this is how the human behaviour system works. Imagine you have an old TV in your living room. Sometimes, for no reason, it just turns off. If you smack the side, it turns back on, and even though it doesn't make sense, it works every time. The important part isn’t why it works, but that if you smack it and get to watch your show till the end, that’s what matters.

 

 

It's just like that. This behaviour is the same too. You're good as long as you know that dopamine is the key to building this success habit. The second thing is that celebrating is a skill you need to learn. So, it might feel unnatural, especially in cultures where people hide their emotions. It’s like when a usually stoic boss suddenly congratulates someone and shows happiness—it feels super awkward, right? That’s what celebrating is about. But remember this: people are drawn to those who can genuinely celebrate and show gratitude. They instinctively want to get close to those kinds of people. So, celebrating is like a skill you need to learn. Honestly, picking up skills in any area isn’t easy. But there’s a cool thing about skills: once you get the hang of it, it becomes comfortable. Celebrating is the same way. You won’t have to struggle so much; eventually, it’ll feel natural. Think of it as a small price you have to pay for your success. If you see it that way, learning to celebrate yourself is really no big deal.

 

 

It's the last one. Everything you do is worth celebrating. The author says that the answer is right in this sentence. Recognizing that you’re doing something worthy of celebration can really bring about a mind-blowing change in your life. It can significantly impact your life if you stop being hard on yourself and learn to appreciate your successes. You shouldn’t be thinking, “What difference does this make?” The author mentions that when you say a little thing can change a person, people often laugh and think it’s nonsense. Those who are pessimistic about everything won’t care if you’re the head of a research institute at Stanford. It becomes clearer why you should tune out the noise around you while working toward your goals and success. Think about it—when a baby takes its first steps, why do we cheer and get so excited? It’s not because the baby is walking perfectly or taking more strides than the neighbour’s baby. It’s about that tiny first step that starts a lifetime of walking.

 

 

You're going to start moving forward, and we know that this is super important for the baby's future, which is why we cheer! It's all about becoming great. Anything can start from a small first step, leading to a considerable ripple effect. Sure, it might just be a YouTube video mid-day, but I genuinely hope you feel that strong impact today. So, remember this: our brains want to feel good. Even a little self-celebration can change things. It’s time to wrap up the pity party; we all go through tough times and feelings of loss, and that’s normal. But we can’t stay stuck there forever. If you celebrate yourself today and do it again tomorrow, you’ll find yourself being kinder to yourself. The moment you start being genuinely kind to yourself, that’s when your confidence grows, and that’s where it all begins.

 

 

My identity is changing. I hated exercising, but now I can’t live without it. The person who always lacked persistence and kept failing suddenly becomes someone who excels just by trying. This transformation isn’t just about willpower; it’s about the work of reshaping myself. We have one last part of this series: the final recap of the 7-step system that helps you build habits for success. I’ll be back this Friday to wrap it all up. If you’ve made it this far, you’ve already achieved a minor success today, right? So go ahead and give yourself a little shout-out in your own words!